This past week was a recovery week which gave my still recovering hamstring a chance to rest from running and focus on gentle strength work.  I think the more I train the calmer my moods and more focused my mind becomes, so when training slows yet life speeds up and fills in the gaps, I scramble to push back in order for some mental/emotional R&R.  Let’s just say that this week was stronger than me, and as I faced another last minute change of plans this morning (which could rob me of a much needed long ride & time of mental peace), I had a meltdown.

melting clocks

Dali’s melting clocks that are simultaneously drowning seemed to appropriate image for this experience.  Not only is there seemingly not enough time but the pressures and demands and expectations have me up to my eyeballs with negative self-talk.  “You’re not good enough.”  “Why didn’t you do it right?”  Rejection, mistrust, doubt, FAILURE!  Hard to find the goodness and the grace and the gratitude when it feels the world & your mind is betting against you.

Or so it seems.  The mind and body are so intricately linked yet we tend to focus on them as separate identities.  Yoga means ‘union,’ and the yoga postures and pranayama (breathing practices) give us the opportunity to harmonize and experience both simultaneously.  When I absolutely cannot bear another moment of life’s constant swirling, I fall to my “mat” – the carpet, the tile, the grass, the earth – a focus on syncing gentle movement with controlled breath.  I give my mind permission to only pay attention to how it feels to move and breathe as one.  Within minutes (or hours, depending on the size of my meltdown), I’ve found my center, my Self, and my sanity.  It’s easy for me to see why I spent almost 3 solid years practicing yoga and meditation every day for at least 2 hrs.

Personal Flow-poster

In that deep awareness and understanding of mind-body connectedness, I will devote this day to realigning my mind, body, and spirit so that Week 5 of 70.3 training won’t end like Week 4.


How do you balance the demands of life and leisure and training?  What are your reset buttons when you reach meltdown status?

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